choices? decisions?

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering."

its like a total mind fuck, of knowing that you are capable of doing what ever you please but having to make a choice of a path of direction to your life is extremly hard. i guess maybe having to risk it? i mean thats what life is, have to make choices and risking it. it could have been like oh what if this what if that.

i feel like if i dont have plan to do something with my life, ill feel useless. and i know i have all this passion and potential, if im pushed hard enough i can do this, i just need this motivation again. the inspiration. RAWR.

& being in that age category of "18-21"[19 going on 20], its really frustrating. you see all your friends partying and you cant help but join. but having to make a decision of your education, its redonkoulious! on my previous post, " dont do what your parents want you to do, dont do what your friends are saying", dont be a follower of their dreams.

WHERES MINE? right here all along. education is really important to me, i feel like if i dont do something now! i know i wont do it later. so last friday i went down to the art institute, got my tour and everything, it was amazing. like fucking brilliant that im inlove with the place. and being 19 going on 20 this year, i feel like i need to do this FOR ME. despite the crap of student loans, etc, i mean it would be worth it. and graduating at the age of 23 isnt that bad with all the critera you are provided for. instead of waiting and waiting till what? till its right for other people? right for my parents? I DONT THINK SO. i have a young mind right now, and i dont want to loose all the knowledge, once we get older, we loose that mind set of - studying, grasping the technique to learn things quick.

plus i even have more other things going on in my head but ^this one is just my main one so far for a long time now. & other supressed shit. i just want to SCREAM because of this, so frustrating. ><