seattle baby!

I know You know Im sexxyy
What would u do would u sacrifice it all for me How would u like if I woo yeah
I need an all American cowboy
Ah ah ah ah ah oh I’m too much for u boy
Ah ah ah ah ah oh I’m too much for u boy

aahhhh i cannot wait! =) northwest college art school here we come! =) my half/dream is coming true!! and brittneys up there! lmao aaahhh i cant wait! and ill be getting my BFA by the time im 23! hehe. everyone is starting to get sad that im leaving! ill miss my best of the best people here in vegas! and ill come to visit!! in defendant! vegas is my 2nd home that i have a love/hate relation! but cheers to my future! gambatte ne!

everything is going amazingly well =) cheers to this fella that has stayed with me and kept up with me and delt with my shenanigans and vise versa =)

christi de nihon desu ne! watashi wa nakusuruu! =)

change of heart

haha paparazzi of lady gaga is stuck in my head -
i'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love, papa, paparazzi
baby there's no other superstar you know that ill be your papa, paparazzi
promise I'll be kind but i wont stop until that boy is mine.

so this change of heart -- alot has happend within 2weeks that is crazy how this can happen. but nonetheless it is what it is. =) and im happy that it is with him. even though we arn't official we've been talking for what 10months now...but we shall see =)

school has started =) im in love with my first set of classes mon&weds. siick ass teachers today is the 2nd set of classes i hope ther coool too

cheers to the fall/winter season! CANT WAIT FOR SNOWBOARDING SEASON!!! =D

summer to an end

so this is the last week of summer. i must say that this was quite an interesting one at that. =) alot of cali trips, swimming, boating, wakeboarding, partying -- man alot of partying. but not as much as last summer. this one was a chill one. it was niice. but school is starting next monday and i am uber excited! its gonna be epic <3 well on the news front -- i got a job a o'neil at the same damn mall that i have worked at with tommyH guess n quiksilver. but hey a job is a damn job, hopefully enough to pay the damn bills. ><

oh and what is up with every session before fall everyone well mostly everyone practically has a boyfriend/girlfriend? what is up with that? sheeesh! its like a massive wave or something haha. but i know for me, that i honestly do not need a boyfriend right now because my focus is school&art. i mean i could make time if i had the fucking time but in all reality i dont and i am honestly happy with it. i have my friends, the best of friends that make me sane. dammit and not to be conceited or whatever but all these fucking guys wants to like date me or what the fuck ever, its like leave me the fuck alone please. i mean fuck dont motherfucking smother me. that is not right. but seriously ill be a bitch if i have to.

la la la thats the update for now. =] thank you thank you.
oh p.s: NINE IS COMING OUT SOON AND I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!

cali trips

aahhh i cannot seem to get the weekend of cali out of my mind! =] it was soo much fun. mini reunions with old japanese friends from back in the day. it felt sooo good. =] it was pure bliss. i still cannot fathom this surrealness of this trip. but nontheless it was a glorious time. and i cannot wait to visit again. =] i love my lifee =] <33

yay for summer school =]
this summer is going to be not as crazy as last years but who knows ;p

Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do

great finales for gossip girl & one tree hill <---makes my heart melt

this weekend is the start of the summer! going to the lake with awesome people =]
great news that christi is getting stationed in japan =]
summer school is starting in june
hopefully going to florida in june
getting a job as well.

and all my savings are going to my nihon trip next summer =]

here we go.....=D

cheers to the future =]

had a great dinner with my papa, =] i love him. he's so supportive.

arrgghh i cant wait to get out of this hell hole of vegas. =] art school here we go!! i am so excited. another chapter in my life, in a new place. hopefully san francisco! (o^-^o) cho kawaii! and david might/will go with me. its our chance baby lets do ittt!

school has always been my motivation, art has always been my passion. time to live the dream.

NiHON, will always always be my home, how ive missed you soo much. i cannot wait to go back. hopefully things will go great in due course.

believe it, dream it, live it.

out of the ordinary

i have a feeling this year, this summer, is going to be different than any other summer. i can feel it. probably in a good sense, in a growing up way. or im just saying shit just because of the way ive been feeling lately. whatever.

"you want what you cant have" --fuck that saying, i swear! you want what you cant have!? NO HOW ABOUT - you want it you can have it. take the negative, change it, force it to the greater good of the positivity.

hahahah reading old blogs, geez rereading it, mann it takes that sense of feeling of that moment you wrote it back. you can feel that rawness, that real, old you.

time to do my art project that ive been procrastinating for the longest time >< && thats due next tuesday. its all good i work well under pressure. hahaha ;p

jaycee- mainly a young girl often misunderstood in this world very bright strong and beautiful. at times may be considered insecure and a push over but overall a good hearted woman. she could make a man weak in the knees and any girl wanna go lez.
^^hahahahaha bravo on my nicknameee.

update

<----NANA!!! i loveee this anime series! read it, watch it. x]

im certainly excited about a few things! yet i curse you on coming t.o.m! but in a good way, lmao. but nonetheless i am on a mission to find this eyeliner! haha and a few makeup ideas so i can run a muck on my face! jk jk! i am still a "little tween" when it comes to makeup, i mean im going to be 20 this summer, shouldnt i be an expert by now? no because of a little traumatic incident that happend to me in 8th grade. i mean, it shouldnt bug me but i like being a natural faceee! x| but little things can go along way! ive been really looking up on skin care products and going to by a few things today! yeepee! idk im just being a GIRL today.

ive been re-reading theSECRET latley to concentrate what i want out of life. it is an incredible book. i want to make stickers or something that seys --theSECRET,read it.-- and post it/place it everywhere i go. that would be cool.

plus these 2 major art projects of mine for the final semester are going great! well for my ceramics class, but i have to do 3 drawings for my figure drawing class and copy an artist's style but put it in modern sense. crazy but i love it.

NINE, a tim burton movie & the director timur bekmambetov from wanted =] ahh so brilliant. i cannot wait for this movie to come out xD first time i saw this trailer gave chills down my spine, maybe its because im sucha graphics geek bwahahaa =P

lately ive just been staying home watching buffy/angel, oh jesus some one kill me now! hahaha but anyways going to cali this weekend =] been needing to get out.

choices? decisions?

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering."

its like a total mind fuck, of knowing that you are capable of doing what ever you please but having to make a choice of a path of direction to your life is extremly hard. i guess maybe having to risk it? i mean thats what life is, have to make choices and risking it. it could have been like oh what if this what if that.

i feel like if i dont have plan to do something with my life, ill feel useless. and i know i have all this passion and potential, if im pushed hard enough i can do this, i just need this motivation again. the inspiration. RAWR.

& being in that age category of "18-21"[19 going on 20], its really frustrating. you see all your friends partying and you cant help but join. but having to make a decision of your education, its redonkoulious! on my previous post, " dont do what your parents want you to do, dont do what your friends are saying", dont be a follower of their dreams.

WHERES MINE? right here all along. education is really important to me, i feel like if i dont do something now! i know i wont do it later. so last friday i went down to the art institute, got my tour and everything, it was amazing. like fucking brilliant that im inlove with the place. and being 19 going on 20 this year, i feel like i need to do this FOR ME. despite the crap of student loans, etc, i mean it would be worth it. and graduating at the age of 23 isnt that bad with all the critera you are provided for. instead of waiting and waiting till what? till its right for other people? right for my parents? I DONT THINK SO. i have a young mind right now, and i dont want to loose all the knowledge, once we get older, we loose that mind set of - studying, grasping the technique to learn things quick.

plus i even have more other things going on in my head but ^this one is just my main one so far for a long time now. & other supressed shit. i just want to SCREAM because of this, so frustrating. ><

live the dream

"To those that are struggling to decide their future, I say this: Really think about what you love and enjoy in this life. Money isn't everything. It's nothing in fact. You could be the richest person in the world, but if you aren't happy with yourself and life, none of the materialistic things you own will be worth anything. Don't follow your parent's dreams, don't follow what your friends are doing or saying... do what you want with your life. People might laugh at you, nobody will believe in you, hell your parents might even disown you, but honestly, it's all worth it in the end. If the people in your life can't see that you believe in your dream whole heartily, then there isn't shit you can do about it. I know a Japanese woman who married a black man and her parents disowned her. What can you do about it? She is at the happiest point in her life now. We only live once. Live happy. Live long. And man, you won't regret anything." - from a friend =]

MY DREAM - is to go to art school, thats all i really want, [plus traveling haha]. and i dont really give a shit if its not practical or whatever. it is what i want to pursue and having to take out student loans? then so be it, i dont really care if im old and still having to pay for the debt of school. i will put all my energy into this, its my passion. i want this so badly that it fucking hurts. i will achieve this, no matter what it takes.

being stuck, sucks

sigh, i miss home. ive been kinda going crazy here, its not even funny anymore. i wanna scream my head off. i think my depression[ i mean its been on and off since 05] is going to hit a little harder once christi leaves. maybe if my dad leaves. haha i really hope he kinda does just so i could VISIT home. i mean home is where the heart is? right. vegas is aiight, the people is what GETS ME here but for the place, im still in cultureshock. i cant fucking take it here, i try i really do. the stores in chinatown, japanese stores, the japanese food. but it can only refuel me so much. i think its the atmosphere. the people are really truely great here, i mean i wouldnt be who i am without them but ive seriously lost myself so many times, i tend to bounce back to my old japan self merging with my vegas side, i guess you could say my one true wish right now is to travel. anything thats as close to something called home. i hear san fran is something like that

xoxo, tae [ the initals of the last letter of each name ]

lyrics

"I'm coming down, coming down, coming down Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round Looking for myself - SOBER When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad Till you're trying to find the you that you once had I have heard myself cry, never again Broken down in agony just tryna find a friend"

im so in love with this song sober by pink, fucking brilliant in everyway maybe its a sense of my past hahaha =p. so im off till friday. and gonna use that time to draw/paint something amazing, hopefully. music is the key. =] i need to start on my projects - note to self - you should start making deadlines for these.

awesome time last night, we had a girlsnight in =] tons of laughs and supportiveness.

rawr rawr rawr i miss japan so much >< that sometimes i think my depression of it takes a huge toll on me, sigh aug 30th of this year will be 4 years since ive last been or seen home. =( unthinkable thoughts arise of the bad habits. i get so jealous when people go back to japan, its not fair hahaha take me with you.

xoxojanetplanet

how about that jam

If you really want to know something about me, you should know this: I like my music loud. I mean loud. I'm not talking the kind of loud where you parents knock on your bedroom door and ask you to turn it down. Please. That's amateur hour. When I say loud, I mean you-can't-hear-your-parents-knocking-and-the-neighbors-are-putting-a-for-sale-sign-on-their-house-and-moving-to-another-block-because-they-can't-handle-the-constant-noise-anymore loud. You have to turn it up so that your chest shakes and the drums get in between your ribs like a heartbeat and the bass goes up your spine and frizzles your brain and all you can do is dance or spin in a circle or just scream along because you know that however this music makes you feel, it's exactly right.

like going to a brilliant, i mean brilliant concert of your favorite band great beautiful ecstasy high feeling and the screams and singing along crowd jumping around with the bright lights coming across your face. *** that i want to draw, something that amazing to hit atleast an inspiration to someone.

haha ill get back at this later
xoxo jaycee

the double nine

so the new year has begun, time to touch up and live & pursue life to its potential. school starts up on the 20th, im excited because i have sociology, life drawing, and ceramics. yay mee. the new years has started pretty well, i must say =] seeing old besties, ahhh.

so cheers, for a great year ahead of us. ill post back up again, hopefully with my art shit or random blogs >< of stupidity nonsense.

xoxo jaycee